Good Morning, Friends!
We are doing something a little different today. My good friend, Jeanine, who also goes by Jesus Chick and I go way back. So far back, that we shared a corner of a Senior English classroom back in 1995!
I have been so touched and inspired by her messages, that I asked her to write a little something for my “Be About It” blog. Please take a minute to read and be inspired, as I have so many times.
Jesus Chick is an Author and Public Speaker. With over 15 years of mentoring experience, Life Coaching and empowering others, Jesus Chick seeks to touch more lives and share more transparent moments with all walks of life. A recent author, with multiple publications to come, her literary passion includes but is not limited to: women’s empowerment, childhood self esteem and vision & purpose in Christ. Jesus Chick EMPOWERS those who are BROKEN, TORN DOWN AND DISCOURAGED by providing a guided focus to GOD GIVEN vision, steps to ACTIVELY PURSUE & ACTIVATE purpose while eliminating stumbling blocks.
The Power of Fear
Most of my life I have heard these words, “You seem like you have it all together”. At times it seemed like a
blessing and others a curse. Although I have a tough exterior, many would not believe I battled fear for
many years. I can remember having panic attacks, not realizing what a panic attack was, but knowing I was
beyond nervous. Often as a minority, society and culture dictates that we must remain strong amid
brokenness. Thus, we remain broken and look as if “we have it all together”.
I remember the day, fear manifested infirmity in my body. One day while in a staff meeting, I began to
cough. I couldn’t catch my breath and went to the lady’s room to get myself together. Once I made it to the
lady’s room, I began to dry heave and watched as blood droplets fell from my mouth in a toilet, as tears
streamed down my face, I knew something was not right.
I immediately, went to the emergency room and was diagnosed with the beginning stages of an ulcer. The
nurse regulated that I change my diet immediately. I could no longer eat spicy foods and had to implement a
At the time, my father was in the emergency room with me and heard what the nurse said. He waited until
the nurse left the room and said, “that’s not from food, that’s from something on two legs”. My father
spoke in parables and riddles most times to drive his points home. I couldn’t quite understand this one. I
asked him what he meant, and he explained that the ulcer was not from spicy foods, but from my concern
It was true, I was fearful of what people thought of me, how people perceived me and how people received
me. I always believed if people knew the real me, they would never like me. The reality was I didn’t like me
and projected that thought onto others. Enduring situations such as bullying, domestic violence, attempted
rape and attempted suicide I learned to live by an internal thought and thinking that I had no value.
It wasn’t until I had a conversation with God that it all made sense. I began to talk to God as I would talk to a
friend. I asked him questions and waited on his answers, because he has a voice. I found that the
unfortunate circumstances I encountered were going to be used to help others. Instead of worrying about
what other people thought of me, I began to investigate what God thought of me. I found that he said he
made me fearfully and wonderfully made, he loved me even when I don’t have it all together and he has a
plan for me not to harm me but to prosper me and give me hope and a future. I needed to know that I could
have hope and that someone somewhere was not going to hurt me. It all began to make sense. As I began
communicating, I allowed God to rebuild my heart and renew my mind. Through that renewal I was able to
walk in my calling as an author, a mentor and future counselor. Who knew the girl that had an ulcer from
the fear of people would help people be free of fear?! God can do anything, if you let him…so let him.
J. Tillman aka Jesus Chick